The Gettysburg Address, as delivered by Donald J. Trump

“Many years ago, some people say 100 years ago, it’s a long time, believe me. Some guys, very smart guys. Very smart. They made America. And this was fantastic. I mean, you want to talk liberty? And it was all equal, very equal.

Now we’ve got some bad hombres who don’t like it. And they’re fighting us. It’s very bad. A lot of people say, ‘Oh, this America thing, it won’t work.’ Can it work? I think it can work, folks.

You know, a friend of mine, a very smart businessman, he was telling me, ‘We’re fighting this war, but it’s a very important war.’ So, you know, that’s a thing we have to keep in mind. A lot of the media won’t tell you this, but we’re fighting about America right now.

So we’ve got to bury these guys. They did just a really fantastic job, and I say get them buried in a really good way. Because when you die, and you really love America, I say you should get buried in way that’s outstanding.

But that’s not the end of it, folks. I mean, ten, twenty years from now, who’s going to remember this? Who’s going to remember it? You know, I think we ought to do something about this, or who’s going to remember?
I think I’m probably the best at remembering, one of the best rememberers, and even I don’t know if this will matter a week from now.

But the important thing is, America. It’s really fantastic, believe me. I’ve always thought so. I think I’m the first person to say this, but it’s by the people, for the people. That’s a phrase I just came up with.

I think we’re gonna win this thing, I really do, folks. I really do.”

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