Report From the Glenn Beck Rally

As a reputable news source, Soviet Disco often sends reporters to the scene of important stories, to give you the straight dope on the shit that REALLY MATTERS. If anything fits that definition, it’s Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on Saturday. So here’s a first-person account from Doctor Handsome’s cousin Dave:

yea so I went to see the Gleen Beck fuckin thing in DC. First of all, travelling acrross the fuckin country sucks if your not rich. I’ve rocked greyhound across this great nation before, but it sucks worse now dude. You cant’ get away with smoking in the bathroom anymore, apparently. I had to do somer slick talking to niot get booted. Bullshit.

So its like I got there and I thsnkfully didn’t have to find a hotel or shit because I knwe a dude who lives there, and I wrnt to his pad and we smoked some deece hash he had which was awesome and went to a bar. (NOTE; THis was the night before the Glenn Beck rally

So we got all fucked up on these pills this bitch had and fuckin partied fo the rest of the night and I totally got layed. I guess the thing was at like 10in the mormning, which Doc nevr told me {as far as I remember], so I guess we kind of slept throught it . The next day, we smoked more hash like right when we woke up and then got some dank cheesburgers at this bar/food joint, and the burgers ruled. Then we relized we missed the fuckin thing.

A dude on the bus back told me he heard on the radio the glennnBevk thing wasn’t nearluy as racist as expected, and it waas just kind of a joke. So that’s my report: Glen Beck isnt a racist. Not relly.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Cousin Dave is no longer a correspondent for this website.


5 thoughts on “Report From the Glenn Beck Rally


    I want to see “Cousin Dave” cover the next national meeting of the Tea Party movement. An interview with Christine O’Donnell wearing her father’s Bozo the Clown costume would be good.

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