Florida To Be Circumcised

Tallahassee, FL – Gov. Charlie Crist has announced that, out of respect for the state’s sizable Jewish population, the Florida peninsula will soon be ritually circumcised. It is hoped that this will make the state appear “less European.”

“This, I like,” said Floridian Howard Goldblatt. “If we’re America’s schmekel, we ought to at least have a proper bris.”

“It’s really a matter of hygiene,” Gov. Crist noted. “We’ll just be cutting off the part where the Haitians land.”

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