Ugly Broad Doesn’t Have Good Personality

Baltimore, MD – Sources say painfully unattractive local woman Melanie Stupak, 27, lacks the natural charisma and interpersonal skills that would be required to overcome her crippling fugliness. “I always want to set her up with guys I know,” said Stupak’s friend Jessica Winter, “but she’s not really… I don’t know, she’s kind of a bitch.”

Stupak’s friends generally agree that her skin condition, weight problems, and underbite wouldn’t matter that much if she wasn’t such a fucking asshole all the time. “We thought Jane’s brother, at least, would fuck her,” said Winter. “Maybe getting laid would chill her out a little.”

Unfortunately, Jane’s brother Rob, a drunkard well-known for boning fatties, couldn’t stand ten minutes of conversation with Stupak. “Jesus, what a horrible person,” Rob related. “She was criticizing me for not having my shirt tucked in – a T-shirt, by the way – and then she went off on some vaguely racist shit about Obama. This was while we were talking about movies.”

Stupak’s friends are still struggling to find selling points to convince guys to date her. The best they’ve come up with so far is, “She owns a car,” and, “Her cats seem to like her.”


4 thoughts on “Ugly Broad Doesn’t Have Good Personality

  1. This is the kind ya like to slap around a bit, then give em a good hard anal grudge fuck, complete with a donkey punch and you’ve got one solid evening of entertainment. Add the pictures to 4chan for extra credit.

  2. Testify!

    As the former Sir Edmund Hillary* of fatties I can tell you that some are indeed unclimbable even with oxygen, alcohol and a shitload of sherpas.

    *Mallory?? Whatever. The one who didn’t die on top of a fat chick.

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