The 12 Stages of ‘Jersey Shore’

> So what’s this crap?  Another dumb-ass MTV show about young douchebags being super-douchey?  *YAWN*

> Holy shit, fucking look at these simian Guinea sub-normals!  Are these fuckers for real?!

> Y’know, this is actually sort of fascinating, on an anthropological level.

> Damn, this shit is hilarious!  I’m entranced.  This is my new favorite thing to dig ironically.

> Fuck irony.  I wholeheartedly love this program!  God, it’s awesome.

> I bet I can predict what will happen next: They’ll be gross and retarded and lack any form of self-awareness or dignity.  Mark it, dude, I’m calling that shit right now!

> Okay, it’s starting to get a bit tedious now.

> Yeah, I’m actually getting pretty sick of these cunts already.  This got old in record time.

> Now it’s starting to actively annoy me.  I’m done.

> Jesus Christ, this show is everywhere!  I’m tired of hearing about it.

> Goddamn it, how is this fucking abomination still on the air?  A just god would smite everyone involved with the production of this travesty with fucking Monkey Pox or Legionnaire’s Disease or something.

> That does it.  Where’s my gun?  The bell tolls for thee, MTV Networks president Doug Herzog!

Elapsed Time: 1.4 episodes.

6 thoughts on “The 12 Stages of ‘Jersey Shore’

  1. corp. Zombie

    Anything about MTV tends to rush blood away from my brain to my dick.

    …..then my brain cramps and I don’t know whether or not to smash things or fuck things.

  2. Savior Self

    Holy hell! I am in love with those kids! I root for The Situation and feel his pain as he is mercilessly cockblocked every week. I lust after the sprite like, drunken elegance of the g-string bearing Snookie, and I pretty much hate J-Woww and the two that are all hugged up as a couple. The guy with the spikey hair is okay…. and the maommas boy kid is a no pussy gettin hater. ((like I said, I’m a big fan.)) *Jersey fist pumping till it hurts*

  3. I like it because the people on it are such douchebags that I don’t even think they can be classified as human beings, and they get into fights with random people all the time.

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