Editorial by Jeff Dagwood
News flash, fucknuts: a volleyball isn’t used in the game of basketball. So why the shit would that count as a dunk? That’s like saying you picked up a 7-10 split because you knocked the pins over with a Louisville Slugger.
Face facts, wiener-fiend: you lost the goddamn bet.
The truth is, you knew you were full of shit the whole time. “I can totally still dunk, dude!” Laughable. You could barely do it in high school, which was eight years of sedentary, weight-gaining, chain-smoking faggotry ago. Frankly, I’m amazed you did the volleyball, but the bet wasn’t if you could impress me. It was if you could dunk.
And don’t give me that, “I said I could dunk a ball,” shit. If being spherical was the only criterion, why not just use a golf ball, or a marble? Christ, if you’re gonna be a cunt about it, follow your bullshit through to its logical conclusion, you nutless, ass-jamming queeftard.
Here’s the bottom line: was it bigger than a regulation NCAA Women’s basketball, or smaller? Oh, smaller? So, are you weaker than a lady? Or what?!
You lost the bet fair and square, and you fucking know it. So take that video of you lighting my ball hair on fire while I’m passed out off of YouTube. Seriously.