Roof-Raising Unsuccessful

Atlanta, GA – At a hip-hop performance on Saturday night, the audience made several enthusiastic attempts to raise the roof.  Sadly, their efforts met with failure.

Despite MC Jizzy Sizzle’s repeated exhortations to “raise the mothafuckin’ roof,” the crowd proved incapable of altering the building’s structure in any way whatsoever.

After taking careful measurements, municipal building inspector Peter Vang confirmed that the roof hadn’t moved a goddamn inch.  “Yeah, that thing wasn’t going anywhere,” Vang stated.  “It’s pretty safe to conclude that the ruckus was in no way brought.”

Later in the evening, the concert-goers managed to successfully throw their hands in the air.  Unfortunately, they then waved ’em in a manner clearly indicating that they cared.


7 thoughts on “Roof-Raising Unsuccessful

  1. Casey

    I was there… It really was embarrassing. I get self-conscious around Black people. My hands didn’t have a prayer.

    This article brought me mucho joy, by the way. Danke….

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