Man Eats Half a Tin of Altoids

Flagstaff, AZ – While drinking heavily Thursday night, area man Grant Bullock munched down the remaining Altoids in a tin that witnesses described as “at least half full” in one mouthful, astonishing onlookers.  Bullock explained that the action was necessary, as he needed a receptacle for the marijuana he received from his good friend Chester Reinhart.

Reports say that right after Reinhart got Bullock Christ-punchingly high in the alley behind the bar, Bullock started pestering Reinhart to drop him a bud, because he was going to go see Zombieland tomorrow and really wanted to be blazed for it.

Back inside, Reinhart reluctantly agreed to sport him a nickel, and Bullock immediately shoved an ungodly handful of the Curiously Strong Mints™ in his gob, a spectacle which quickly drew a small crowd of drunken gawkers.  The rabble cheered Bullock’s heroic struggle to ingest the overdose of chalky breath-fresheners, while denying him the option of drinking any liquid until he finished.

After Bullock completed the Herculean task, his asshole buddy Jim bought him a screwdriver, insisting he was obligated to drink it.  Ten minutes later, Jim pointed out that Bullock had a cellophane on his smokes he could have put the weed in the whole fucking time, if he wasn’t such a dumbass.

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