County Highway J – Police investigators have determined that the mysterious call you just received on your cell phone was made from a phone belonging to that guy you and your friends totally fucking saw die two years ago, but swore to never tell anyone about.
Please resist the urge to pull over at the spooky motel off mile marker 61, or the abandoned campground where those sexy naked teens were slaughtered back in the 80’s. Don’t you know there’s a crazy hook-handed serial killer on these roads? You are advised to continue past the Indian burial grounds until you find a creepy rural Sheriff you can place your trust in. Then you’re sure to be safe.
Your passenger is in no danger, as she’s no hitchhiker at all; she’s the ghost of a girl who died in 1841! Also, the call came from the backseat of your car!! Also, you’re the real killer, and you’ve been dreaming this whole thing!!! Also, Scott called, and he thinks he might have given you chlamydia!!!!
But seriously, you should probably get checked out for chlamydia.