Experts: He’s Right Behind You!

County Highway J – Police investigators have determined that the mysterious call you just received on your cell phone was made from a phone belonging to that guy you and your friends totally fucking saw die two years ago, but swore to never tell anyone about.

Please resist the urge to pull over at the spooky motel off mile marker 61, or the abandoned campground where those sexy naked teens were slaughtered back in the 80’s.  Don’t you know there’s a crazy hook-handed serial killer on these roads?  You are advised to continue past the Indian burial grounds until you find a creepy rural Sheriff you can place your trust in.  Then you’re sure to be safe.

Your passenger is in no danger, as she’s no hitchhiker at all; she’s the ghost of a girl who died in 1841!  Also, the call came from the backseat of your car!!  Also, you’re the real killer, and you’ve been dreaming this whole thing!!!  Also, Scott called, and he thinks he might have given you chlamydia!!!!

But seriously, you should probably get checked out for chlamydia.

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5 thoughts on “Experts: He’s Right Behind You!

  1. Corp. Zombie

    Clearly this horror tale is linked to alot of another story involving Scott Baio. You know. The story where his career gets murdered.

  2. Corp. Zombie

    Obviously this story here alot of tie-ins to another story involving Scott Baio. You know – the story where his career is murdered.

  3. AP Jenny

    I knew I was the killer, fuck. I’m going to kill myself, I knew it. This movie is so predictable.

    How the fuck do you get the goddamned clap if you don’t have sex, though? Fuck this movie, it’s bullshit.

    Fuck your mom, and check your anus for clap. Scott told me..

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