Seoul, South Korea – Barack Obama’s internet pen-pal Lee Byung-Ha has recently expressed frustration at the fact that the U.S. President has taken over 8 months to make his move in their ongoing email chess match.
“Come on, man,” Lee said. “Just fucking do something! You still have both your bishops and your queen, dude! I mean, come on!”
Although White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs stated that “the president has far too much on his plate right now to bother with a silly game of chess on the internet,” Lee produced reams of recent emails from Obama, in which the leader of the free world dithered over whether or not he should castle.
“I respect the position of your rooks,” one such message read, “but if our knights should come into conflict, their unpredictable L-shaped movements could potentially lead to chaos. This situation demands further deliberation.”
“I’m getting pretty sick of this bullshit,” Lee said via IM. “BRB, pr0n.”