Local Man Accused of Nut-Hawking

Brockway, PA – Controversy arose late Thursday over what has been described by sources as a nut-hawking incident.

At a house party Thursday night, area man John Kelly drew the suspicion of fellow partygoer Norville Rogers when he allegedly peed too close and rocked a dick-peek.

“Everyone was just pissing out back on the garage and the bushes,” Rogers said. “Me and John were the only ones out there at the time, and he was, like, two feet tops from me, even though there was like the whole length of the yard to use! Then I catch dude totally copping a perv on my gear!!”

Kelly dismissed the allegations, saying, “That’s bullshit, why would I want to look at his dick? Fuck that, I’m no queer.”

Rogers remained unconvinced by Kelly’s denials, firing back, “Don’t believe him. That fruity-ass meat-gazer totally nut-hawked me.”

Official sources say the investigation is ongoing.

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