Obscene Novelty Finials

Does your home décor need a little flair?  Well, you’re in luck!
Abernathy Finials has a complete line of Obscene Novelty Finials for all your lampshade-fastening needs.


Classic Dong
fianialdongbq8
This majestic shaft, available in five colors, lends an air of masculine authority to even the most nondescript lamp.  Also great for bachelorette parties!  Item7611RT
 
Dong with Nards
fianialnardscp8
What good is the meatstick without his two comrades, the balls?  This handsome imported finial includes the complete “triangle of terror.”  Item4792LQ

Nips
fianialnipbx1
Why not secure your lampshades with these high-quality replicas of Nature’s decorative finial, the human nipple?  They really tie the room together!  Available in Honkey and Non-Honkey.  Item3104FJ
 
Antelope Fucking Zebra
antelopefinialkl1
There’s no classier conversation piece than this lovingly detailed model of two different species of quadruped, going at it all crazy-style. Item8322NP

NO LONGER AVAILABLE: MONKEY BEATING OFF DOG

Hillary Bust
fianialhillaryje42
This creepy representation of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lends just the right sinister ambiance to any haunted mansion, crooked law firm office, or hollow-volcano supervillain lair.  Item2047HW
Improving your quality of life at the expense of Third-World slave labor since 1953.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s