Berkeley, CA – Researchers from the University of California at Berkeley have announced an exciting new breakthrough in the field of tramp stamps. According to Prof. Charles Norwood, the leader of the research team responsible, the new innovation will revolutionize gender relations.
“Tramp stamp” is the common name for a tattoo worn right above a chick’s asscrack to indicate sluttiness. Norwood’s team has taken the concept one step further and devised a method of surgically implanting a 4” LCD monitor in the small of a woman’s back, to facilitate the watching of sports during doggy-style intercourse.
Response so far has been largely positive. Steve Bakalars, boyfriend of one of the first volunteers for the procedure, gave it rave reviews. “It’s awesome,” said Bakalars. “The old tramp stamp she had was this wack tribal shit. Sure, it was fun to aim for when I pulled out and shot my goo, but it was pretty played out.”
Jeff Sanderford, whose fiancé was another early volunteer, agreed. “Before, when I’d suggest that we fuck in the living room so I could watch the game while I railed her from behind, she’d get all pissy about it,” he said. “Now, I can bend her over anywhere at any time and still catch SportsCenter, and she doesn’t mind at all. If anything, she just thinks I’m more into it.”
Prof. Norwood was pleased with the initial success of the procedure, but noted that much work still remains to be done. “Obviously, the next step is convincing women that the LCD tramp stamp is actually a feminist statement,” he said. “We can probably say that getting sports scores from your woman’s lower back makes her the conduit of information and enshrines the Sacred Feminine as the facilitator of communication, or some such claptrap. Whatever. If we can convince housewives that pole-dancing classes are empowering, selling this one should be cake.”